Tinfoil Hat
Its dark outside and I still have that headache. You know those nagging little buggers where just one small area of your brain just doesn’t feel right? Well this one is just above my right eye.
I check Shelley and the others but they’re still not responding.
I grab a couple of headache tablets from the kitchen drawer and swallow them down with some juice then take a look out the window.
Streetlights are on but there are only a very small number of lights on inside houses and still no moving traffic. A dog wanders under a streetlight on the other side of the road, sniffs the post, pees then trundles off into the shadows. There’s no noise, except a cat meowing to be let in somewhere.
The rest of the flat is just the same as it was. My friends are all lying about asleep.
I gather up some blankets to drape over them. I huddle a few who lie on the lounge room floor close together and use a couple of big blankets to cover them.
In the kitchen Mikey still has his face resting on the table and Jules is still laid out on the floor. I decide to put them to bed so I pick up Jules first and carry her off to Mikey’s room, laying her gently down on the bed. Then go back to the kitchen and kind of carry/drag Mikey to his room and lay him on the bed. I remove their shoes and pull the covers over them.
I tidy the kitchen up and find myself placing the bottles quietly into a big green garbage bag. Realising this I decide that if I woke someone up it’d be a good thing so I start dropping the bottles into the bag, letting them break and bounce off each other.
No one woke.
After an hour or so I get the kitchen into a reasonable state and take the garbage downstairs to the bins.
It's so eerily quiet out here it gives me the spooks so I drop the stuff in the bins and scurry back upstairs.
There’s still nothing on the TV or radio. So it’s back to the trusty Internet.
The traffic-cams of the world still show no flowing traffic. Other web cams yield similar results; some show people laid out on the ground or slumped in chairs in cafés, restaurants and bars.
The weirdest scene is from a theme park somewhere in
Hoping to get a clue as to what made everyone fall asleep, and why I’m not asleep I do a web search on the words: “entire population asleep”, surprisingly I get quite a few responses but only one has a 100% match.
I click on the link, a weblog (or blog) entitled ‘The Aliens will assume control while you sleep’ loads up. Scanning the index I find items with titles such as ‘How the aliens will make the entire population go to sleep’, ‘Make your own Delta Wave Interference Cap’ and ‘I know the aliens secret’.
Obviously this is the website of a complete nutter.
But nevertheless, out of sheer curiosity I click on the link entitled ‘How the aliens will make the entire population go to sleep’.
Apparently the Aliens will use special radio frequencies that he calls D-Waves, which will force our bodies into a deep sleep by simulating the low frequency delta waves that are normally generated by our brains to slow our breathing and heart-rate when we’re in the deepest stage of sleep.
“With the entire population asleep the aliens will simply move in with absolutely zero resistance”.
The author, who goes by the name I-Kno and is clearly insane, doesn’t say why invaders from outer space would put everyone to sleep rather than exterminate us all. Maybe they’ll use the electricity in our bodies - like in the Matrix - to power their new colony.
The ‘Make your own Delta Wave Interference Cap’ is a hilarious read. I-Kno has invented the Delta Wave Interference Cap or DWIC for short, and explains in great detail how to wrap aluminium foil around your skull.
Yep. Plain old, everyday cooking foil. The DWIC is the classic Tin-foil hat and supposedly blocks the aliens sleep wave. I-Kno wears his 24 hours a day and strongly recommends you should as well.
He even has photos of himself wearing the tin-foil hat. And guess what. He looks like a complete DWIC head!
There’s a section where you can leave comments. I can’t resist so I write, “The aliens are here! You’re a genius; your DWIC has saved me. Thanks so much.” For added laughs I sign off as ET – being the squat little extra-terrestrial from the movie E.T.
“Loser” I chuckle as I click on the SEND button.
I continue searching for answers but there’s nothing but the brilliant Mr I-Kno’s explanation for the situation. A very scary thought indeed.
Imagine if that loon is right.
Of course he can’t be. I don’t have a Delta Wave Interference Cap and I’m awake.
I wonder if I-Kno is awake.
I end up reading through the various syndicates I subscribe to and come across an article about a University professor in
“Good god man! Haven’t you seen The Terminator movies?” I yell at the screen.
This guy is almost as scary as I-Kno. Maybe they’re related.
I’ve seen enough so I close down the computer.
Feeling tired again so I go to bed.
Shelley hasn’t moved a millimetre.
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